Post-Wedding Vows

Now that I've been a bride, I feel as if I have peered into the world that only brides truly know. You know the world I mean: the world in which you feel the frustration of waiting for those last few late RSVPers... where you wish people would stop asking you questions that they could figure out for themselves if they would just look at the wedding website you spent weeks making... the world in which you curse the day that you slaved over making 200 ceremony programs, when in the end only half of them were ever used. If you have not experienced these frustrations yourself, you have surely heard other brides express them at some point or another.

Since I can now tuck the role of "bride" under my cap and I've experienced the many tribulations that come along with the title, I am vowing to do my best to be the least high-maintenance and most generous wedding guest I can possibly be. Ladies, if you'd like to join me in my quest to make the lives of brides everywhere just a little easier, please, repeat after me:

I, {state your name}, hereby vow to never return a response card after the "respond by" date. If possible, I shall return the card immediately upon receipt of the invitation, knowing how fulfilling it is for the bride to be able to fill in "yes" or "no" next to my name on the Excel spreadsheet that she spent weeks refining. (One down.... two hundred twenty-seven to go!) If there is room on the card (front or back), I shall write a friendly note to the happy couple, letting them know how excited I/we am/are to attend, or how disappointed I/we am/are that we will not be there to celebrate with them. I will never, ever send back a response card with only a hasty X next to "will not attend" because it is likely to hurt someone's feelings.

I hereby vow to make my hotel reservation (if necessary) as quickly as possible; I shall remember that the bride likely wants to provide welcome bags for her guests, and that she would like to know if she has to make 13 or 43 bags, preferably prior to the week before her wedding. I shall make her life just a tad bit easier by acting promptly so she knows that the time and energy she spent securing room blocks did not go to waste.

I hereby vow to never ask a bride in the weeks before her wedding if she is excited. She is likely very excited, but also extremely on edge, sleep-deprived and emotionally exhausted from juggling a million details. If I shall ask her anything, it will be "can I help you with anything?"

I hereby vow to refer to the couple's wedding website before ever calling the bride and/or groom with any questions regarding their big day. If I still have unanswered questions, I shall only call or email the bride and/or groom as a last resort if no family member or member of the bridal party is able to answer my question.

I hereby vow to take a ceremony program, and continue to take it home with me. I shall not throw it out, fold it, or destroy it in any way. If, when the ceremony is over, I see that there are programs leftover and my husband has not taken one, I shall make sure he does, so the bride is not left with the guilt of creating/ordering too many programs that went to waste.

I hereby vow to sign the guest book, wish board, note for wish bowl, wine bottle, etc. I shall know that the bride and/or groom put a lot of time and thought into what kind of guest book to have, and they will be devastated if they go home with only a few messages.

I hereby vow to approach the bride and groom to say congratulations and have a moment to chat with them before they have to approach me. I shall remember that they have several — perhaps hundreds — of guests to visit with, and they want to be able to enjoy themselves during the celebration, as well. By approaching them myself early in the evening, I am ensuring that they will not feel guilty later that they did not have the chance to talk to me, nor will they have to put aside the time to talk to me later in the evening. I shall keep our chat brief as to not steal time away from other guests, but I will be relieving the bride and groom of any further obligation to talk to me.

I hereby vow to dance. That's why there's music.

I hereby vow to eat a piece of cake and tell the bride and groom how amazing it tasted (and how amazing it looked before they took a knife to it).

I hereby vow to stay until the very last song has played and the "ugly lights" have been turned on.

I hereby vow to tell the happy couple what an amazing time their wedding was the next time we see them (and perhaps even a few more times after that). Although it may seem like forever ago to me, it is still fresh in their minds and it means the world to them to continue hearing about what an amazing time they provided for their guests.

What do you vow to do as a future wedding guest, now that you've planned your own wedding? Is there anything you used to do as a wedding guest that you would never do again now that you've walked in a bride's shoes?

The Eve of Our Big Day: The Rehearsal Dinner

Our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner made everything feel really real. After all of the planning and coordinating and nitpicking of details, the first "official" events of our wedding weekend were upon us, and I was completely excited. Our rehearsal at the church went smoothly (and was actually really fun, I thought!), and afterwards everyone made it to the Ship Inn in time for a delicious dinner and a lovely time with our families and bridal party, hosted by Mr. Cupcake's parents.

All photos by the lovely, talented and delightfully sweet Alison Conklin (who also shot Momma Cupcake's wedding in February!)

I love this artsy shot that Alison captured of the restaurant

Of course there had to be a ship at the Ship Inn!

We love the atmosphere at the Ship Inn — it was warm, cozy, and bursting with conversation. Of course, that had a lot to do with all of the wonderful people surrounding us.

My cousin and bridesmaid, Coleen.... so glamorous!

FIL Cupcake... always smiling and laughing! I love this shot of him.

Bridesmaid Chrissy (my favorite dance partner... sorry, Mr. Cupcake!)

Mr. Cupcake's little cousin, who was a little pooped at this point in the evening!

Our friend, Beth — her husband was a groomsman. They both went to college with Mr. Cupcake and Beth and I have become great friends, so I was so glad she could join us at the more intimate setting of our rehearsal dinner. (I first met Beth at her wedding four years ago... at The Desmond, the same place where we had our reception!)

A great candid of SIL and Brother Cupcake

Stepdad Cupcake

Cousin and bridesmaid, Michele. She and Coleen (sisters) both live in New Orleans.

SIL Cupcake looking fab!

Daddy Cupcake

MOH Nicole and her boyfriend, Thomas. They live in Austria and came home to Philadelphia just for our wedding. We were touched!

Mr. Cupcake's Uncle Kevin. He was a groomsman and has always been more like a big brother to Mr. Cupcake (who is an only child). He wins the award for trekking the furthest for our wedding — he lives in Bangladesh!!

Mr. Cupcake's parents, my new in-laws. I love this photo of them... I am a very, very lucky girl to have such wonderful in-laws who love me so much!

I helped out a little bit with the visual details, because you know I just can't help myself ;-) MIL Cupcake had asked me to make little tags for some favors she was working on, but she wouldn't tell me what the favors were. I made the tags to coordinate with the invitations I had also made, and at the size that she had requested. I punched holes in the top left corner and sent them off to her to work her magic!


The favors were so sweet and clever! Each guest got one of the cute little packages above (wrapped in teal or green tulle) that contained a Zagnut bar and a KitKat bar — Mr. Cupcake's and my favorite candy bars. (Can you guess whose is whose??)


I had also helped MIL Cupcake come up with a seating arrangement, so I made place cards for each guest as well (which you can see at each place setting above). I always get into a little bit of a tizzy when I go somewhere that has limited seating and I don't know that many people, so we thought it would be nice to ensure that people could sit with the people they knew and/or people we thought they would have a lot in common with (as some of our bridal party didn't really know our families or other friends).

Alison also captured a few nice shots of our invitations.... much better than the shots I took a few months ago!




The night went by so quickly, and it was hard to believe that it would be my last night as a Miss... surreal and very exciting!

Don't I look excited?

Mr. Cupcake... I like him :-)

Awwwwww

A good shot of my ring!

I wore the string of pearls that my Nana gave to me years ago

My dad gave a very sweet toast before dinner.... although I'm usually very emotional, I enjoyed listening and didn't get too emotional that night (and even on the wedding day). I was just so happy and I think I had anticipated being so emotional that I had over-prepared myself! It was really nice to just be able to listen to such kind words without getting emotional and risking missing anything. Mr. Cupcake, on the other hand, did not lose sight of his sensitive side ;-)

You can see him starting to well up a little bit here!

...Then we were able to laugh and the tears cleared up a bit

A nice moment with my dad after his toast

A fun shot of the back/bottom of my last-minute (but absolutely perfect) Anthropologie dress

I love this shot of Mr. Cupcake.... I think it has a very vintage, old movie vibe

A sweet shot of Brother and SIL Cupcake

My mom and I with one of her sisters/my fabulous aunt (bottom left) and my two cousins, all from New Orleans. I'm the pale brunette, if you can't tell ;-) I obviously look more like my dad's side of the family!

Alison stole us away for a few moments to get a few shots in some booths at the Ship Inn. We were just talking and laughing and she captured our personalities perfectly!

This one is just so "us"

Brother Cupcake also gave a very sweet toast. True to form, he read it from his iPhone :-) We are both designers and Mac nerds at heart!

SIL Cupcake admiring her man

I don't remember what it was, but he made some joke at Mr. Cupcake's expense!

I really love this shot of me looking up to my big brother... someone I've always looked up to my whole life. (And not just because he's older than me :-) He is extremely talented and generous, and he is now a very successful menswear designer!) He said some very sweet things about looking up to me, even though I'm younger than him. It was so nice!

Cheers!

Then it came time for gifts. We had something for our parents, Mr. Cupcake's grandmother, and everyone in our bridal party.

MOH Nicole reading the note I included with her gift

I got each of the girls one of these makeup bags that can also double as a clutch. They are super cute and made of a very durable canvas material.

A little glimpse of the jewelry that I had custom-made for the girls (more details and pics to come once we have our pro wedding photos!)

One of Mr. Cupcake's groomsmen opening his gift... a bottle of fancy Scotch

We also got each of the guys a tie and argyle socks to wear at the wedding (which Brother Cupcake is checking out here)

We got Momma and Stepdad Cupcake a few tokens, including this glass pear ornament. It is from Simon Pearce, where they got married in February and had a "perfect pair" theme, so it was perfect!

Mr. Cupcake and his mom got a little teary-eyed when she opened one of her gifts — a vintage handkerchief that we had embroidered with her monogram and our wedding date

Mr. Cupcake's grandmother also got a vintage embroidered handkerchief

We had such a delightful evening, but it flew by way too quickly. Not that we weren't excited for the next day to arrive (!!!!!), but we tried our best to savor each moment and enjoy the company of our closest friends and families, since the following day would prove itself to be overwhelming (but fantastic) and filled with many more people to see.

Our last night as fiances.... soon-to-be husband and wife!