Money Matters

Budgets are always part of the wedding-planning equation. The budget is a necessary evil and, without a doubt, the major determining factor in the majority of wedding-related decisions. But along with the logistics of how much lighter your pockets will be after paying for all the wedding expenses, I have also found that others don't hesitate to let you know what they think about your wedding dollars and cents (or, rather, sense).

Cartoon found here

We are having a wedding with close to 200 guests and I realize how lucky we are to have the financial support of our parents to make the wedding and all of the events surrounding it happen. But at the same time, we are, by no means, having an extravagant, lavish, six-figure kind of wedding. Sure, our budget may be much larger than some, but it is also much smaller and less flashy than others. Our parents have been really great throughout the process and have not made things at all painful when it comes to money discussions. They have been generous and reasonable about everything.

What it really boils down to for me is that how much money we (meaning Mr. Cupcake and me, and our parents) are spending is ultimately our choice, and no one else's business.

Apparently some people didn't get the memo.

On more than one occasion, people have made it clear to Mr. Cupcake and I that they think large weddings are a waste of money — one person told us that the money spent on a very nice wedding that we attended "could have fed a lot of hungry people." Ouch. (We never even specifically mentioned that it was an expensive wedding — we just said it was a beautiful wedding, which I guess translates to "dripping in money.") I have also picked up on a few eye-rolls and sarcastic comments about wedding costs from people who may or may not know us well — their comments are not necessarily directed at us or our wedding in particular, but of course it's hard to not take it a little personally. Judgments like this upset/annoy me because:

a.) how much we choose to spend on our wedding (and how we spend our money in general, for that matter) is no one else's business

b.) some of the judgmental comments have come from guests who will be attending our wedding and I feel like they'll be judging/disapproving the entire time (while eating their $$$ prime rib ;-))

and

c.) they're assuming that people who spend money on things like large weddings aren't also capable of giving to those in need. Why can't someone spend money on material things and also give to others? Since when do we have to choose one or the other?

While I understand that the money spent on a wedding does seem to disappear quickly and it could certainly be spent other ways, I also think it's okay to splurge on the most important day of our lives. And let's not forget that we're supporting some talented vendors (and the struggling economy) in the process. What's so bad about that?

Sure, there are a lot of vendors out there who give the industry a bad name, and overcharge for anything that has the word "wedding" thrown in front of it. But I have met enough enthusiastic, honest, well-priced vendors to know that it's not all about overcharging and taking advantages of brides. And certainly there are brides whose weddings become a spectacle of affluence, but some of us truly just want to celebrate our wedding day with the people we love the most in the world and treat them to a really great, memorable party.

Have you had to deal with a lot of judgments from others regarding how much dough you're putting out for your wedding? How do you deal with it and/or justify how much you're spending?

Cute Cake!

This cake is not what I, personally, am looking for in a wedding cake..... but I had to share it with the hive because it's just so stinkin' adorable!

Photo found here; cake by Gateaux, Inc.

I see a lot of the same cake designs over and over again from our favorite magazines and blogs (I'm guilty of stealing my own cake design from a photo that Miss Milkshake first posted), and this one is just completely different from anything else I've seen. I love all the little details. How adorable are the little shrubs and trees sitting on the tiers? How cute is the bridal shoppe on the bottom tier, and the bakery on the middle tier? It's like a little mini bridal village dollhouse-turned-cake!

Where are some other hidden gem cake designs that you have come across online?

True Life Wedding?

I got this email from Kleinfeld Bridal today:


I'm over the age of 25 and my wedding is in September, plus I don't know if I'd need cameras following me around while I obsess over wedding details..... but I am a sucker for MTV's True Life documentaries! Anyone in the hive planning to apply?

(And who remembers the last True Life: I'm Getting Married with the crazy couple from Staten Island? THAT, my friends, was some classic reality television!)

Vendor Crush: Twigs & Honey

I have a new vendor crush.


Myra of Twigs & Honey at Etsy creates the most beautiful hair adornments I have stumbled upon during wedding planning. Her creations are whimsical but not too out there, quirky when they need to be, and classically charming when the occasion calls for it. Just look at some of the pieces she has created (many customized):

She makes boutonieres, too!

To top it all off, Myra is terribly, terribly sweet and genuinely excited about every order and every bride that she meets. I contacted her last week and she is going to create something fabulous for me to wear in my hair at our reception, when I'll no longer be wearing my veil. Her prices are unbelievably reasonable, and she is incredibly detailed in her emails. I gave her a list of 4 or 5 pieces that she has sold that appeal to me and what I like about the different ones (size, color, beading, shape of petals, etc.), and she doesn't think I'm nuts (at least, she hasn't let on that she thinks I'm nuts ;-) ). She asked important questions and will let me request changes once she lists the reserved item in her Etsy shop for me. I am going to send her a few swatches this week so she can match the colors I'd like to include in my hair adornment.

I have seen Myra mentioned on tons of blogs in the last few weeks (and her fantastic wedding was also recently included on Style Me Pretty, as part of the Unique Weddings Week(s)) and the attention is certainly well-deserved. Her current timeline for custom orders is up to 8 weeks, because all of the positive attention has brought in tons more work and she creates each piece herself, by hand. Definitely contact her early if you'd like a custom piece!

I am so excited to see what Myra has in store for me. I will be sure to keep the hive posted.... in the meantime, be sure to check out Myra's Etsy shop and the Twigs & Honey blog!

Wedding Showers (Not the Kind that End in Presents)

One thing that most brides hope for on their wedding day is good weather. I am no exception — I want a beautiful, sunny, lightly breezy day that will allow us to take pictures outside and allow our guests to not get soaked as they journey from our ceremony to our reception.

Of course, I can't predict what the weather will be like on our wedding day, especially 5 months in advance, so I'm preparing myself for rain in the event that our day isn't dry after all. I guess I can handle a rainy wedding day, as long as it means some cute photo ops:

Photos found here


Photos found here

Photo found here

Photo found here

Photo found here

Photo found here

Photo found here

As much as I don't want rain on our wedding day, I do love the moodiness of rainy wedding day photos. (Rain gods, this is still not a request for a damp wedding day, okay?) I want to prepare myself with a cute umbrella in the event that some precipitation does dampen our day, but not our spirits.

There's always good old white:

62" Giant White (that's actually what it's called)

Or classic black:

Stanley Blacker Regal

Or.... Elvis??

Elvis in Concert Tupelo
(No thanks, I've always been more of a Beatles fan myself)

Then there is this cute little number, if you want to spend over $200 Canadian (yikes!):

Chantal Thomass Tulle Fronce Umbrella

Or looky at this fun polka dot number for only $35 Canadian (and it comes in teal!)

Christian Aujard Polka Dot Umbrella

And the more frilly version of polka dots (I'd steer clear of the pink and go for the classic ivory with black)

Frilly Polka Dot Umbrella

I looooooooooooooooooooooove this one for $65:

Sonnet Black

And this stripey little number with a black edge:

Mani Green (also comes in pink)

Are you preparing for possible rain on your wedding day with a cute umbrella?

Creating a Photo Display

My Weddingbee bio states that Mr. Cupcake and I are both "old souls" — we are both extremely sentimental people who constantly talk about how things used to be "back in the day." I love hearing stories about his childhood and seeing pictures of him growing up. So, naturally, I want to find a way to display pictures of both of us through the years, as kids through to adulthood, and then once we met each other.

Come on now — just look at how cute he was:

Mr. Cupcake still loves to fish, but now he wears sunglasses so he doesn't squint like that

He's not QUITE this messy anymore when he eats....

Not that I'm not going to try to give him a run for his money in the cuteness department....

Going for the wedding cake even at the age of three. Notice how quickly my left hand is moving away, as if I was ready to swipe some icing or something.....

Probably (no, definitely!) the only time you'll see a shot of me in a bikini.

At Mr. Cupcake's cousin's wedding last fall, a great slideshow was included but the photos of Mr. Cupcake's grandfather (whom he was very close to) got him very upset when put to some emotional music; he told me at that moment "no slideshow at our wedding!" He doesn't speak up much about wedding details, so this was one request that I had to honor. We still wanted to include some old photos in our day, but thought it best to put the photos somewhere where guests can look at them throughout the night if they so choose. But how to do this?

Several weeks ago Mrs. Bird of Paradise featured the Knottie bio of bkbistro (as well as her planning bio) and I fell in love with her amazing idea of displaying old family wedding photos:

In the process, from her planning bio

And the finished product, from her wedding bio

As you can see, she found these old windows on Craigslist, which have a wonderful vintage look to them. While she included one large wedding photo in each of the panes (leaving a few with the glass exposed, which I love), I think it would also look cool to include collages of us through the years in many of the panes, and leave others with the glass exposed. On the panes where the glass is exposed, I think it might look cool to have some words or phrases printed out on vellum or some other kind of translucent paper (words and phrases to be determined!).

I am so excited about this idea, and I've started scanning all of our old photos that we want to include. I think it would look great displayed in the area that will be used for our cocktail hour, and where the bar will be located throughout the night. The only problem, though, is that I still haven't found the perfect windows or doors to use! I found a great set of old French doors on Craigslist a few weeks ago for only $50, but someone else beat me to the punch and they were gone. So, I'll continue to search for the next five months and hopefully find something that will work. Craigslist and flea markets are my friend.

(We have a beautiful set of French doors in our apartment that Mr. Cupcake is convinced that we could use, and they are perfect, but I don't want to take the chance that something would happen to them, since we rent our apartment!)

Check out another one of bkbistro's cute ideas, also using an old window:


And I love the simple way they decorated the aisle at their ceremony with fabric:


Have you found a lot of inspiration from Mrs. BOP's Knottie bios of the week? How are you planning to display old photos at your wedding?

Planning a Pre-Wedding Mini-Moon

Mr. Cupcake is a die-hard, lifelong fan of the Boston Red Sox. He has never lived in Boston — actually, he's never even been there — but something about the history and the spirit of the team has always appealed to him.

Last Christmas I decided to get Mr. Cupcake tickets to see a Red Sox game at Fenway Park. Tickets weren't actually on sale yet, so I made him a replica that told him I'd be taking him to Boston for the Red Sox home game of his choice. With the help of Adobe InDesign, an image I found with a Google image search, and the Copperplate Gothic font, I put together a pretty convincing "ticket," complete with a bar code for the sake of authenticity :-)


As you can tell, Mr. Cupcake wasn't at all excited by this gift:


When tickets went on sale, we couldn't believe how difficult it was to get two seats together for a weekend home game.... obviously, we were a little ignorant to the fact that Red Sox tickets aren't all that easy to come by. After a few days of major frustration, we lucked out and were able to get ourselves two tickets to a Friday night game in June on StubHub.com. Then we had to actually start planning the rest of our trip!

We found a great deal on Orbitz for a round trip flight direct from Philly to Boston and three nights in a five-star hotel for a little over $500 a person. We'll be staying at the Intercontinental Boston, right on the Waterfront, from Friday until Monday.

All photos found here

I don't know how on earth this hotel package was less expensive than 3- or 4-star hotels in less desirable locations, but hey, I'm not going to put up a fight!

And here's where Mr. Cupcake will cry when he's overcome by the Red Sox spirit (he has already forewarned me that he will most definitely cry):

Photo from art.com

Although we're not swimming in cash these days, we both agreed that planning this pre-wedding trip would be a nice break from what is sure to be a chaotic summer, and it is worth the money for the experience. Travel is something that I always want to make room for in our lives, even if we need to pinch pennies for a little while to save up. Seeing the rest of the country (and, hopefully, world) is too important to let pass us by, especially at this point in our lives when we don't have too much responsibility just yet and we're still young and agile enough to do as we please. Plus, taking Mr. Cupcake to see the Red Sox is something I really wanted to do for him, and we are so excited for our trip. (I, of course, will also make sure that we make a stop at Johnny Cupcakes, since, ya know, he's family and all ;-) )

Are any of you planning a pre-wedding trip to take a break from the hustle and bustle of wedding planning?