If you looked up "indecisive" in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of me.

I tend to have trouble making decisions -- big or small, serious or trivial. When I eat out, I will sometimes agonize over the menu for quite a while before making a decision, only to change my mind about it the moment the server walks away to place my order. Not wanting to be a pain, I will not change my order; instead I will just sit and pout and scold myself for my poor decision, and once my food comes I will become painfully aware that it isn't *really* what I wanted. Totally mature, right?

When it comes to decisions on a much larger scale, it can become even more agonizing. There are rare times that I will make an impulsive decision and be completely confident and happy in the firmness of my decision, but who am I kidding: these instances are far outweighed by the times of indecisive flip-floppery.

For instance, my big dilemma at the moment is a wedding motif. I steer away from the word "theme" because I don't want something that is overwhelmingly in-your-face all-over-the-place at our wedding. I'd prefer a nice image or icon or overall idea that is gently worked into the details of our big day. I enjoy the love bird motif that seems to be popular these days, but I don't feel like it is very "us." I mean, honestly -- all birds are either sparrows or pigeons as far as I'm concerned, so I don't want a bird theme to mislead my guests to believe that I am suddenly intrigued by these little flying friends.

Although the "Meant to Bee" theme is also cute, I don't feel like it has any personal connection to us as a couple or individuals. Besides, I don't particularly like things that sting me, I don't eat much honey, and yellow was never my color.

At my brother's recent wedding, he and his bride subtly incorporated an illustration of a chandelier into their invitations and programs, since their venue had lots of gorgeous chandeliers throughout it. Although I love our venue, there is nothing like that there that calls out to me (except for really pretty four-post canopy beds in all of the guest rooms, but I don't think a bed is an appropriate motif for a wedding invitation! The grandmothers might all keel over right then and there).

When I was asking my BFF/MatronOH's opinion on motif ideas, she said that when she thinks of Mr. Blushing and myself, she thinks of one thing: beer. Although I totally see her point because we can often be found enjoying a brew or a game of Quizzo at our favorite microbrewery, Iron Hill, I don't think I want our guests getting the wrong impression that we're big-time boozers or drunks. I also think that a few of the non-drinkers of the bunch could be slightly offended by such a theme.... and let's face it: beer ain't all that pretty. *Sigh....*

The only thing that I briefly considered that relates to the beer idea (in a roundabout way) is our Quizzo team name. (For those of you who don't know, Quizzo is a popular trivia game held at bars, and it usually consists of several rounds of trivia questions and an audio round where you identify obscure songs or bands. Mr. Blushing and I can get pretty competitive, with his knowledge of American history and my affinity for useless pop culture facts.) When the two of us play Quizzo, we play under the team name of "Incredicouple." While it is fun and quirky and is a reference to our love of Disney/Pixar films (i.e., The Incredibles), I think it's a bit too quirky for our wedding day. Although I think most people would get the tongue-in-cheek-ness of it all, I wouldn't want it to seem too self-centered or showy, and I don't so much want capes at my wedding.

In light of all this fruitless motif-soul-searching, I think I have finally made the big decision to not have ONE motif representing our wedding. I think that if I have SEVERAL that tie together in a roundabout way (with their style of illustration, color, etc.), it will help to please the indecisive bride deep within me, and it will keep things fresh and new with a surprise always in store for the guests.

...But, I'll let you know when I change my mind again tomorrow.