The Big Reveal

When we first got engaged, I daydreamed about Mr. Cupcake and me seeing each other for the first time during my walk down the aisle. So traditional, so picture perfect....

So not a good idea for two major criers like ourselves.

I have admitted before that I am a big-time crier, so I know that I am going to cry on our wedding day. If you were to bet against me shedding tears on our wedding day, you'd lose. It is a done deal. I will cry. Probably more than once.

I know that Mr. Cupcake is also in touch with his emotions, and although he doesn't cry nearly as much as I do, he still tears up when he talks about Maggie, his golden retriever who died of cancer seven years ago, or when a good sob story is being told on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (he'll kill me for that one, but it's true!). And when he sees me cry, his eyes get a little glossy and he says "please don't cry, please don't cry" because eventually it becomes contagious.

The more I thought about seeing each other for the first time during my long walk down the aisle, the more anxious I started to feel, and the more I questioned my desire to wait to see each other. What if all the excitement and anxiety that has been building up over the last year and a half leads to an uncontrollable sobfest (which our friends will later call "Sobfest 2008")? What if I can't prevent the "ugly cry"? What if my sobs can be heard over the sound of Trumpet Voluntary playing on the organ? I began to reconsider the idea of seeing each other before the ceremony in order to calm our nerves and to steal away a little alone time before the festivities, but the traditional side of me was still conflicted.

And then, I got the greatest email ever from my DOC, Jenn Poletti of Perfect Planners, responding to my inquiry about what she thought would be best:

My below long story is in NO way me trying to sway you, just telling you what happened to me!

I will tell you that I did not see Dan before the ceremony. I had it in my head that I wanted the first time seeing each other to be while I was walking down the aisle, and it would be so much more special, etc. Looking back, I wish we had seen each other beforehand. The first meeting would have been just as special (in my opinion). But, at the time, there was NO talking me out of it. My mom tried, Dan tried, and my stepmom tried. I was such a calm bride the entire planning process, the morning of the wedding, etc. I'm not typically a crier. Well, when those church doors swung open, all of a sudden, I was so overwhelmed with emotions, I started bawling. Not crying, BAWLING. Think Niagra Falls. And, no, I'm not kidding. I don't know what happened! People probably thought my dad was dragging me down the aisle and forcing me to get married! I was crying so hard, that I could NOT see going down the aisle. As soon as I got up to Dan, the first thing out of his mouth was, "why are you crying like that?!" Not the "you look absolutely stunning" that I was expecting! Ha! Now, I'm not saying this will happen to you at ALL. However, looking back, I think if I would have seen him beforehand, I would have not felt so rushed, emotional, etc. and I could have enjoyed and remembered my walk down the aisle and seeing all of my friends and family smiling at me while I was beaming down the aisle...rather then choking back the waterworks. Ugh! And, I still think walking down the aisle would have been just as special.

When I thought about myself and how I react under pressure, I realized that seeing each other before walking down the aisle would definitely be a good thing for us, and Mr. Cupcake was relieved. He had been pushing for this all along, but I, too, had been adamant about waiting, just like Jenn. After hearing her story, it was decided once and for all. (And I'm not saying I won't cry at all now..... but maybe I'll be a little more relaxed and they will be pretty, happy tears!)

When we mentioned seeing each other before the ceremony to our Pastor, he liked the idea; he suggested that maybe we could see each other earlier in the day, for a quiet breakfast together before we are in our fancy duds, perhaps, so that we feel more relaxed. This would allow us to still have that element of surprise when walking down the aisle, but also leave us feeling more at ease about the exciting day ahead. I am still undecided if I want to do this or if we should wait until we're all fancied & prettied up.

What are your feelings on seeing each other before your walk down the aisle? For anyone who has done this, did you see each other earlier in the day, pre-fancy clothes, or did you wait until you were primped and ready to go?