Klutzy Bride

Hive, I have a confession to make: I am an incredibly klutzy person. It's rare if a day goes by that I don't trip on something, drop something, break something, or spill something on myself. Mr. Cupcake is constantly rolling his eyes and asking "are you okay?" or moving my water glass away from the edge of the table for fear that I'll smack it and spill it all over the place. (It's been known to happen.... More than once.) I am a Grade A, Certified Klutz.


Last April (on Friday the 13th, nonetheless) I took quite a terrifying spill down half a flight of stairs in our apartment. It happened as if it was in slow motion, and the whole time I was tumbling, I was thinking to myself "this is, by far, the stupidest thing I have ever done." (Klunk!) Unfortunately, it was a combination of me rushing down the stairs in heels because I was late for work and having my arms full that lead me to fall down the stairs with nothing to hold onto. Luckily, the bag on each shoulder also prevented me from injuring my hands, wrists or head and are probably the reason I didn't do somersaults down the stairs. I did manage to break my middle toe, but overall, it could have been much worse (although, over a year later, I still have what I endearingly refer to as a BFT — that's Big Fat Toe).

Last October, Mr. Cupcake and I had one marathon weekend of two weddings (one on Saturday, one on Sunday). Both were in Central Pennsylvania so we stayed at his parents' house for the weekend. A few days before we went, I decided that I shouldn't wear my same ol' standby wedding-guest-dress to both weddings, so I found myself a second dress to bring for the weekend. Good thing, because five minutes before we had to leave for wedding #1 (as I was rushing — shocker — to put my makeup on), I dropped my lipstick and it conveniently fell straight down the front of me and left some pretty ridiculous marks down the length of my dress. So, I ended up having to wear the same dress to both weddings after all!

I've also had some recent incidents of klutziness that make me immediately think of the wedding — like a few weeks ago when I burnt my knuckle on my left hand while taking an english muffin out of the toaster oven at work. Yup, that's gonna leave a mark that will probably still be there in September. And the constant cuts on my legs from shaving.... I'm going to have to explore alternative methods of hair removal in the week leading up to the wedding, so I'm not covered in band-aids on the wedding day!

Needless to say, I am a little nervous about Klutzy Cupcake making an appearance on the wedding day. I mean, really, are the Wedding Gods trying to kill me? Whose brilliant idea was it to make a girl wear a white, floor-length dress for an entire day? A day that involves wine, lipstick, and cake, all things that I am likely to spill or drop at some point. I am also a little terrified about any part of the day that involves stairs, because as we all know, stairs and I don't really get along so well. If I'm not falling down them, I'm tripping as I walk up them.

There are usually two big factors behind my clumsiness: feeling tired, and feeling rushed. This reminds me that I need to make sure to get plenty of sleep leading up to the wedding, and I'm also going to have to be pretty liberal when creating the wedding day timeline with my DOC to build in lots of extra time so I never feel rushed.

Are you a klutzy bride like me? What precautions are you taking to make sure you don't embarrass yourself with any clumsy antics on your wedding day? (Or, is it just a lost cause??)