The Language of Love

This weekend, Mr. Cupcake and I attended a Marriage Preparation Workshop at the church where we'll be getting married. We didn't really know what to expect, but we were pleasantly surprised by how much we enjoyed the day's events.

After lunch with six other couples who are getting married at the church this year, our workshop began with Betsy, a professional marriage counselor/therapist. The day focused much less on religion than it did on marriage and the issues that newlyweds face. The four main topics were:

• communication
• spending habits and financial planning
• family of origin
• sexuality and intimacy

I found the communication topic to be most interesting. According to a handout that explained Dr. Gary Chapman's "Five Love Languages," the five ways we communicate in relationships are through:

1. Quality Time
   - Giving undivided attention
   - Talking and listening to one another
   - Being free from all distractions and focusing on being together
   
2. Words of Affirmation
   - Words that build up or encourage one another
   - Verbal compliments and kind words
   
3. Receiving Gifts
   - Visual symbols of love — purchased, found or made
   
4. Acts of Service
   - Doing things you know another person would like you to do
   
5. Physical Touch
   - Holding hands, kissing, embracing, sex
   

Betsy had us rank our own love language priorities, as well as what we thought our significant other's priorities would be. For myself, my priorities are:

1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Physical Touch
4. Gifts
5. Acts of Service

For Mr. Cupcake, I thought his priorities would be:

1. Physical Touch
2. Quality Time
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Gifts

When we compared our lists, I was totally surprised to find out that our "love language" priorities are actually exactly the same. It was refreshing to hear that spending quality time together is his favorite thing, too, over "Acts of Service" (how un-romantic is that?) which finished last for both of us. It looks like we're made for each other, after all!

What are your "love language" priorities with your Mister? Do you think/know if his are the same, or very different? If different, how do you make it work?